so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
