Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
