As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
