No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize