wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
