it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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