got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
