Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
