This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
