Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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