So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
