Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize