ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
