Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
