she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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