Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
