***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
