I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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