It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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