Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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