WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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