The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
