There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
