Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
