if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
