ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
