I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
