I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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