I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I deserve this hangover.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
