eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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