your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
