dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
