My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
