thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
