i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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