You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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