i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
