new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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