are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
