i'm signing you up for texting rehab
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize