This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
