If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
