I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
third nipple confirmed
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
