Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
