Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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