yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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