1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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