lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
