I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
