OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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