drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
