She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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