...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
