I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
