So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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