I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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