he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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