We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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