the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
