I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
