I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
me + whiskey = a bad person
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
