I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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