Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
