1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
