ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
