I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
