So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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