i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
