i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
