But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
