Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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