you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
