i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
