he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
